I had to run by my parents' house to print something off this afternoon and ended up staying for over an hour after getting caught up in conversation with my Dad. We started talking about how much has changed in not only my life, but our family, in the past year and how thankful we were for the changes. He started to talk about the struggles of being a parent that have rarely crossed my mind. Yes, I can imagine what a pain in the ass children are---after all, I am probably one of the most fun cases, but talking to him opened up a whole new side of parenting I've rarely considered. We talked about the past two or three years of my life and I watched a strong, solid man's face begin to crumble in front of me as he described how it feels to watch your daughter slowly get destroyed by another person. To make decisions that you have no control over like you used to when she was little and wanted to watch a movie that wasn't allowed. He seemed so genuinely hurt but at the same time, never did anything during those times to change me or the decisions I made. I realized that he never told me "NO" or tried to cage me in from making my own decisions because he was very aware of what a stubborn and determined child he had raised. While I've had days that I wish my Dad would be a little more intimidating to the "bullies" in my life and meet my dates at the door with a shotgun---I truly could not ask for a better Dad. Yes, out of every member in my family, he is the one who has the ability to drive me absolutely insane but I would not change one hippie bone in his body. He has had the strength to raise me which gives me admiration for him alone, but he has also had the self-control to stand by and watch me destroy certain chapters of my life knowing that he'd be there to pick up the pieces with me when I figured out how stupid I was being. In some ways, I wish I could go back to the first pinky promise I made. I was sitting at the Varsity with my Dad and remember telling him about a boy at school who was mean to me.. right then and there, I made him promise that he'd be my husband one day and fight off all the mean people who came my way. Of course as I grew up I realized the impracticality of this arrangement but it just reminds me that you will never, ever, ever find a man who loves you as much as your daddy does. I hope that I never have to see him so hurt by something I've done and although I'm sure there are a lot of "Stupid Malia" moments in the future.. I hope to at least give him a breather. I'm sure I won't understand the unconditional, selfless love my parents have for me until I myself have a stubborn little child raising hell, but bless them for putting up with me all of these years. Moral of this story, be jealous you don't have a hippie dad who is the equivalent of some Bob Marley lyrics and has more Widespread and Dave downloads than me and my friends combined--turns out he's pretty awesome.
"Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters."-DMB
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