Forgive and Forget

I would love to start typing away about the CMA performances or sarcastically begin dissecting my most recent annoyance with the opposite sex... but tonight, I'm going to try something a little more therapeutic. Regardless of the fact that it scares the bahjesus out of me to be meaningful and deep on this thing, I'm about to give it my best shot. So here it goes: 

Hello world, my name is Malia and I'm practicing this thing called forgiveness. The past five years of my life have quite possibly been the most traumatic periods of time I can recall in well, my lifetime. Although the things that happened to me will always be too personal to share with the blogging world, it is very important to state how much I have changed as a person in this period of time. I have honestly had times when giving up seemed to be the only option and the reasons I was pulled back up can be explained by nothing other than the grace of God. No, I do not think my life is harder than any other person you may compare me to. In fact, if these struggles have taught me anything, it is that every person has a whole layer of scars and battle wounds that the naked eye can not even begin to dissect. I do however, feel that my stubborn personality has taught me a very hard yet important lesson. Holding on to things is crucial--- the memories help prevent you from making future mistakes, they help mold you, give you a backbone when you need it most... BUT the difference between holding on and denying forgiveness is a million miles apart. 

I have allowed myself the power this year to forgive and I have never felt such a release in my life. Due to something I put myself through, I was constantly being met with more and more people that I had reasons to dislike. I reached a point where I could easily list off girl after girl that had "backstabbed" me, friends that left my side because they couldn't watch me act like an idiot for a second longer and hurtful things family members had said because they were so tired of watching me act like someone I was not. Some of these people had a perfect reason to push me away, some people did truly do me wrong but the common denominator was that they were no longer in my life and for reasons that were my own fault. I had the power to walk away from the things that were breaking me down but I didn't. I have the power to forgive and I'll be damned if I don't do so with every person in my life. If we all learn anything in life it should be that time flies by too quickly to hold grudges or keep enemies. We all make mistakes, date mistakes, guide others to mistakes and kick ourselves for everything we can't take back and all that is left is the present. The present has no recollection of the past if you don't let it, so take today to forgive. I'm still working on forgiving myself for all of my mistakes and trying to mend broken bonds with people that are my "enemies." As young as I may be, I'm starting to feel like God decided to hit a home run in the trauma department with me before I hit 20. As painful as my last few years have been, I'm starting to appreciate the struggles because it's taught me so so much early enough in life that I can put it to use. You may read this and think I'm sharing way too much... which I probably am but I just hope someone can put my struggles to their own use and learn before it's too late.